ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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