Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
