It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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