So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
