oh god the rape fog is back!
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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