So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
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