3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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