i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
