seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
