We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
