Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
