I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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