Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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