Are we in a gay sports bar?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
