marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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