After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
