super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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