is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
