you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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