Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
