the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
