girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
