Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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