wanna go halves on a baby?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
