so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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