Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
