Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
