How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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