I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
