is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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