If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
