): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
