And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
