Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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