She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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