My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
