at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
