After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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