you have to choose: penises or morals?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
