yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
