I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
