You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
