how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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