I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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