how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My vagina is very pro this idea
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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