He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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