I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
