What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
