he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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