Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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